Manners Matter

My guess is that you agree.  Good manners are so very important to our own happiness and those around us.

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Life is a bit gentler when we all take care to be gracious, polite & thankful. This is especially true at holiday time when there is so much entertaining, gift exchanging & thanking to be done.

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I think we all know what feels right with regard to good manners.  It feels right to hold the door for the elderly lady, even if it means standing there for a while until she makes her way.  It is natural to respond with a please or thank you when offered something.

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And, for me it is automatic to write a thank you note for a gift.  This is ‘thanks’ to my mom who always had the package of thank you cards on the counter before I even finished opening my birthday presents.

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My mom will still ask me, “did you send so & so a thank you?” The answer is almost always yes ( insert eye roll even though I am too old to give those & now am the receiver! ) That being said, if you have ever given me something & I have not sent a note of thanks please forgive me & DON”T tell my mom!

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In most situations the proper manners are pretty obvious, but what about table manners or manners in the 21st Century? Evites? Email thank yous? Aside from your own good sense there are guides to help.

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I gave my girls Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers years ago.  In 2008 to be exact, they were 5 & 8, so maybe I jumped the gun a bit.  ( never too early to get accustomed to Tiffany blue or good manners! )

This slim volume has all the details on fish forks & whatnot. Moreover, it tells how to be a gracious dining companion.  Witty & stylish it is a delightful little book.

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A new book on manners has been penned by Liv Tyler & her grandmother, Dorothea Johnson, an etiquette expert. (my mom missed her calling)  I wonder is this Steven’s mother…hmmm?

Nevertheless, Modern Manners ~ Tools to Take you to the Top, is a wonderful guide to navigating classic & 21st Century etiquette questions. You can pick up a signed copy for $19 at One King’s Lane.

Now can I get you anything?  Let me help you with that. You know, that color is great on you.  Oh and, thanks so much for visiting My Soulful Home!

Have any tips for good manners in our mod mod world?

** Kelly **

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Oh, I couldn’t agree more! But manners most definitely start at home and that is where so many people fall down these days. It is not up to the school, or the church, or the after school programs etc etc.: it is up to the parents! Thank you notes are essential, I agree. They can be a pain to write, but if you just “do it” , and start at an early age, it becomes automatic. Oh Kelly, I agree with everything here. Thank you is such an easy word/phrase to say and we all need to hear it more often.
    P.S. Thanks for this post!

  2. One that i encountered just today – young people (including our kids under 10) holding the door for their grandparents. marvelous manners – melted my heart because it so rarely seen anymore.

  3. GERI CLIFFORD says:

    Thank you. Two words from the heart!

  4. Thank you for this timely topic. I picked up my son at his work the other night and his manager walked out with him and asked me if I was Peter’s mom and I said I was (here, I’m thinking what could have happend in the six weeks they have been open that the manager would have to come out to my car and chat with me about. I hope they aren’t letting him go, it’s his first job). He says “Mrs. S. your son is the most respectful and hardest working kid I have ever met. When I ask him to do something, he always gets it done without hesitation and is always respectful to his fellow employees and our customers no matter what they put him through. You don’t know how rude these young can be at times and I never have trouble with Pete. You have raised a fine young man and he will go far.” I looked at him and I think I looked a bit flustered and said “Thank you very much.” I was taken aback because you usually only ever hear something if it’s negative, not positive.

    We have always instilled in the kids good manners regardless of how someone else treats you. “Kill them with kindness” was my mother’s motto and always do what you’re told to do without a heavy sigh or an eye roll because it will be remembered come evaluation time. Always say “Yes sir” or “no ma’am”, “please” and “thank you”. “May I help you with that?” was another big one. You cannot emphasize how important it is and how much you will stand out, because it is such and oddity most times these days especially these days-they will mow you down because they have their nose in their phones instead of looking where they are going (adults are guilty of this also, but kids more). Then they look at me like it’s my fault. I’m the one with the bum leg and the cane! I agree that the schools should not be teaching it (they have enough that they don’t that they’re supposed to, but that’s another whole different convo) and the parents should be. I have spent time in my kids schools and I know a lot of the kids and parents and I have found a correlation. The ones without manners are the same ones that usually don’t get along real well with their parents and treat them like the dirt under their feet until they grow up and “get it”. I have never had that issue withi either of my kids, we have always had rules but the kids have respected us for them. My twenty year old recently thanked her dad and I for bringing her up the way we did. She said it was because we prepared her for real life.

    Sorry for the ramble.

    Lisa

    • Lisa, Thank you so very much for sharing that story, a bit of your son & your thoughts with us. I couldn’t agree with you more. Good job Mamma!

  5. LOVE this, Kelly! It’s never too early to teach the little ones good manners!

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